Live As You Are. But Not Today

29 November 2024

I hope these pictures will bring you even a small amount of the joy that went into creating them. Working away in my quiet studio with Betty, when I hadn’t even contemplated the concept of her leaving me so suddenly and so soon.

And now, walking through wet grass before the sun is properly up, thin light, a soft drizzle, I have a new pup by my side. From the corner of my eye I see a lone fox behind a garden wall and I think of my old dog. How I miss my Betty.

When I wake in the small hours, too tired to sleep, I miss her night time snuffles. Softly snoozing in her rightful place at the bottom of my bed, pointy ears silhouetted in the street lights through my net curtains. Ever alert and always watchful, I felt so safe in my tall thin house by the sea with Betty right there beside me. Cold wet nose in my face instead of an alarm call. Our morning cuddles.

This show is dedicated to the memory of my Betty. Its title is inspired by one of those Self Help quotes I cling to. Live As You Are Today. Because with all the fear and anxiety life can bring I find it a helpful mantra. But when I put Betty to sleep for the final time I thought, No… Not today: I’m just not ready to experience the pain of this present moment. So I flew away with her for a while and took comfort in that.

With the whirlwind that is my Birdy at 14 weeks, it’ll be my last show for a while. I have no energy to go to the studio or even draw at home. But today I have a new show, a new pup and a big big hole in my heart.